


It's Not Just Baseball Players Who Swing Both Ways

by myglassesaredirty



Series: It Had to be You [14]
Category: Psych
Genre: Baseball, Bisexual Female Character, But mostly fluff, Coming Out, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Politics, Stargazing, also the beauty of my favorite character only having five episodes is, but I love him, i can pretty much headcanon whatever the frick i want, idk why he literally has one episode, listen i really love brett connors, pride month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 14:44:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19153141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myglassesaredirty/pseuds/myglassesaredirty
Summary: Henry has one extra ticket to a baseball game. Brett backed out. His only other friend is Madeleine.When the baseball game ends early, they start talking, and she accidentally lets her biggest secret slip.





	It's Not Just Baseball Players Who Swing Both Ways

**Author's Note:**

> I can't remember when I first headcanoned that Maddy is bisexual, but as soon as I got the headcanon, it wouldn't leave me alone. Since I had decided to write a coming out fic for Psych already (it's on my list to write Shawn coming out), I figured that I should do it chronologically and have Maddy come out first.
> 
> It was difficult since I don't fully understand the struggle LGBT+ people go through, and I hope I did you all justice.

“You’re bailing on me?!”

 

Brett shrugs and pours himself a cup of coffee. “Look, I’m sorry, but Sharon needs my help with the nursery. We didn’t exactly know about this entire baby thing when I agreed to hang out with you tonight.”

 

Henry groans and leans against one of the posts. “But this is so unfair, Brett. Jackie is God knows where, probably getting some VD. You’re my only friend here, and now you’re bailing on me?”

 

Brett smiles knowingly and takes a sip from his mug. “Why don’t you ask Madeleine? You two are best friends, and she would probably be glad to spend the evening with you.” He nods to the blonde sitting on the bench with  _ The Screwtape Letters _ in one hand and a ham sandwich in the other. “Go ask her.”

 

Henry twists his lips. “You know why I can’t,” he says lowly, his eyes trained on Madeleine. She gasps softly, sets down her sandwich, and flips to the next page. She pulls her legs up onto the bench, her eyes still fixed on the page. Her fingers tap against the back of the book, clearly itching for a pen and paper to write something down.

 

Brett shakes his head. “You’ve been interested in her for over a year now. I respect your decision to be friends first, I do, but now, it might be time to ask her out. Unless she has a major test tomorrow, I don’t see what’s holding you back.”

 

Henry rolls his eyes. “You’re a dick, you know that?”

 

Brett laughs and claps Henry on the shoulder. “Listen, this doesn’t have to be a date. Just ask her to hang out.” He stares pointedly at the two tickets in Henry’s hand. “You have an extra ticket, and you hate watching baseball alone. It’s going to be fine. Just go and ask her.”

 

Henry sighs. “Fine. But if she says no, I’m blaming you.”

 

“Go get her, tiger.”

 

Henry flips Brett off as he walks across the bullpen. When he passes by his desk, he takes one more glance at Maddy, who still looks like she wants to write something down, and he pauses, picks up his pen and an unused scrap of paper, and pushes past the other officers.

 

She doesn’t even notice when he comes up beside her. Her nose is buried into the book, her back pressing against the arm rest. Her sandwich is left unattended.

 

Henry decides to eat the other half. He carefully grabs it from its spot on her brown lunch sack and takes a bite out of it.  _ Hm, not bad. _ She still doesn’t move.

 

He clears his throat. “Penny for your thoughts, Mad?”

 

She yelps, clutching the book tighter and bringing it close to her chest. She looks around frantically for a second, her eyes settling on Henry. Maddy narrows her eyes at him and smacks his arm with her book. “Don’t  _ do _ that!”

 

He chuckles and sits on the bench next to her. “I take it that you don’t want this half of the sandwich back?”

 

Maddy rolls her eyes and waves her hand dismissively. “Go ahead. I don’t want your germs anyway.”

 

He holds up a hand to his chest in mock offense. “Maddy, I am  _ wounded.” _

 

She sticks her tongue out at him. “Serves you right for scaring me like that.”

 

Henry grins and pulls one leg up onto the bench. “So, what’s the book like? I’ve heard mixed reviews.”

 

She quirks an eyebrow and inserts the book jacket to mark her place. “What kind of mixed reviews?”

 

He rests his arm against his knee and lets the pen and paper fall onto the bench. “Well, I’ve had a few friends say that it was extremely thought-provoking, but it was a lot like C.S. Lewis’s apologetic books and less like fiction. Kinda like a bit of false advertising, you know?”

 

She squints at him and tilts her head. “Not really.”

 

Henry clears his throat. “I’ve also heard some people say that that book salvaged their faith before it was gone entirely. Others said it led them to Christ, so…” he spreads his free hand and shrugs. “Mixed reviews.”

 

Maddy purses her lips and nods slowly. “I think it’s very thought-provoking, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing that it’s an apologetics book. It gives a fresher perspective on it, to be honest.” She sets the book on the bench and crosses her arms. “Have you read it?”

 

Henry raises his eyebrows and points to himself. “Me? Nah, I’m more the type of person to read books about the past two World Wars and the newspaper.”

 

She rolls her eyes. “God, you’re so boring.” She smiles, though, her eyes dancing. “So what brings you over here? It’s not the book, and it’s not to steal my sandwich.”

 

He groans and pulls the two tickets out of his pocket. “I have two tickets to watch the Seabirds later tonight, but no one to go with.”

 

She smirks. “And Brett said no, so I’m your next choice?”

 

He winces. “I didn’t think you liked baseball?”

 

Maddy shrugs. “But I like you, and I like spending time with you.” She bites her lip. “But is this…like a date?”

 

Henry chokes on his saliva and starts coughing. “No! No, it doesn’t– it doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want it to be a date, this can very well be a  _ not- _ date if you want it to be a not-date, I’m perfectly fine with that, you know, let’s just go with not-date is that okay with you?”

 

She wrinkles her nose when she smiles. He’s never noticed that before. He’s also never noticed the freckles that are so light against her skin that they’re almost unnoticeable, but they stand out a bit more in this light, with her hair pulled back into its ponytail.

 

“I’d be delighted to go on a not-date with you, Henry. Are you going to pick me up, or do I meet you at the stadium?”

 

Henry waves a hand. “I’ll pick you up. You still live on campus, right?”

 

She nods. “It’s much cheaper that way. You’d be surprised how much apartments cost these days, let alone beachfront houses.” She smirks again. “Can’t imagine someone crazy enough to do  _ that.” _

 

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, in my defense, my dad owned that house and gave it to me when he moved out of Santa Barbara. It’s not…I didn’t buy it.” He shakes his head. “That doesn’t matter. Okay, yes, you still live on campus. Same dorm?”

 

She nods again. “What time is the game? Are we eating there?”

 

He gapes at her. “Of  _ course _ we’re eating at the game, Mad. Hot dogs and potato chips are a classic baseball meal. We need to do that.” He smiles and finishes the sandwich. “And the game starts at 7:05. I’ll pick you up around 6:40?”

 

Maddy smiles at him, twisting her ponytail around. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll be the one stealing your baseball cap.”

 

Henry snorts. “Of course you will. See you then, Mad.” He stands up and wipes his hand off on his pants. “By the way: I got you a pen and paper so you can write down whatever thought you had earlier while writing. Just don’t bring your book to the game. It really kills the mood.”

 

She sticks her tongue out at him and picks up her book. “Oh, fuck you,” she says with a twinkle in her eye.

 

*

 

She walks out of her dorm at 6:40 on the dot, her hair pulled into a braid. She wears a UCSB shirt and a pair of denim shorts. Her braid swings side to side as she jogs over to Henry, who leans against his dull yellow truck.

 

“Hiya there,” Maddy says, plucking the baseball cap from his head and putting it on her own. She grins up at him, tilting her head so that she can look at him past the brim.

 

Henry smirks and pulls open the door. “I think that’s a little big for you.” He takes her hand and carefully helps her inside the cab.

 

Maddy crawls to the passenger side of the cab. “Well, I already established I was stealing it from you, so there.”

 

He laughs and climbs in behind her. “Did you know I used to play high school baseball?”

 

Maddy tucks her hair further underneath the cap. “I didn’t know for certain, but I figured you did, since you know…”

 

He squints at her. “Know what?”

 

She rolls her eyes. “You have a baseball player’s body. Or a swimmer’s body. Really, it’s the lean muscle, and you didn’t get it just from running.”

 

He stops at the stop sign right before leaving campus. Traffic on the freeway is terrible. “I’m a  _ police officer. _ I have to be fit. It’s literally a requirement.”

 

She tilts her head and studies him for a bit, picking at the skin underneath her fingernails. “Very true. Except Brett’s also a police officer, and he doesn’t have the same body you do. You’re the fastest runner on the force,  _ plus _ you have a better arm than any other officer. It’s indicative of you having done something heavily relying on both arms and legs, so swimming or baseball.”

 

Henry’s blinker is slowly driving him insane, but he just stares at Maddy. And blinks. “I thought you were studying psychology, not physiology.”

 

Maddy snorts a little bit and rubs her nose. “I’m just saying. It was a quick observation. And Brett wouldn’t tell me exactly what sport you did in high school, so I had to take a guess myself.”

 

He finally manages to peel out onto the freeway. Maddy presses her hand to the dashboard and grits her teeth. “I guess…” He shakes his head once. “What did you do in high school?”

 

She bites her thumbnail. “Soccer.”

 

He raises his eyebrow and glances at her. The sun slants through the window, and the light makes it seem as if Maddy’s hair is made of golden thread. She looks like a goddess.

 

_ And I shouldn’t be thinking of her as such. _

 

He licks his lips. “They had soccer in Cincinnati?”

 

She rolls her eyes and gently pushes him. It doesn’t do anything, but he moves as soon as her hand pushes against him. “Of  _ course _ they had soccer in Cincinnati, you heathen.”

 

Henry chuckles. “Anything else? I’m getting a dancer vibe from you.” He waggles his eyebrows at her. “Maybe a ballerina?”

 

Her smile is brilliant. The sunlight doesn’t just illuminate Maddy’s hair, it makes her entire face shine with a different kind of beauty that Henry has never seen. And he’s seen her beauty many times before.

 

Maddy crosses her arms and leans into her seat. “Close, I guess. I was a figure skater up until I started high school. My feet hated me because of the ice skates and the cleats I wore for soccer. I had to choose between the two sports when I was in high school, and I decided soccer was the safer route to go.” She shrugs. “Besides, I think soccer is more fun.”

 

He purses his lips and nods slowly. “I suppose that’s fair. I wouldn’t know.” He sighs softly. The drive on his left is beautiful: trees turn to gold right next to him, their very leaves beckoning him and Maddy to go on a quest to find some lost treasure with the help of fairies. It sounds a lot like something Jack would want to experience, so Henry shakes the thought from his mind.

 

“Please tell me my stomach is not going to hate me for eating baseball food,” she finally says, breaking the silence. Her arms are still crossed, but her feet are now on the dash. It usually bothers Henry. It doesn’t tonight.

 

Henry winces. “I can’t say for certain. I’m usually fine, but there are some games that Brett and I have to cut short because of the food. There’s no guarantee for tonight.”

 

“And how long does a baseball game take?”

 

He shrugs. “It depends. There has to be six outs in each inning, and there are nine innings unless the game is cut short due to weather or if it’s going on until midnight or something. Baseball isn’t a timed sport like basketball and football are. It’s all based on how long it takes to do anything.”

 

Maddy whimpers a bit. “And how long do you think this game is going to last?”

 

He glances at her and smiles softly, offering her his hand for her to squeeze. He won’t tell her, won’t admit it to her, but he loves it when she shows him physical affection. He never knew what he was missing before, when he just moved silently past people in the hallways or breezed past officers in the station. Affection was never part of his life until Maddy entered it, and she would run up to him and give him a quick side hug or hold his hand randomly. Sometimes, he got a kiss on the cheek for doing nothing but existing.

 

Maybe he fell in love with her just because she was the first person to touch him casually. That’s what Jerry says, anyway.

 

But Henry knows better. He knows that it’s because Maddy is smarter than a whip, picking up on a person’s entire identity after knowing them for only five minutes. He knows that it’s because she chews her lip and furrows her brow when she’s engrossed in a book, and how she taps the back of the book when she sees something that stands out to her, that speaks to her. He knows that it’s because she laughs at his jokes, and her nose always wrinkles with her laugh, and she’ll clap her hands once and rock into his shoulder. He knows that it’s because she makes him laugh as well.

 

He knows that he fell in love with Maddy because she’s Madeleine Baker, not because she was the first to show him physical affection. It’s a bonus, it’s not the driving force behind his feelings for her.

 

Henry clears his throat. “I think that it’ll be a quick game, actually. With any luck, it’ll be over before nine. The team they’re playing is really bad. Like. They’re awful, Mad. Think a level just above little League.”

 

A smile creeps onto her lips and she plays with his fingers. “So, just by being on their team, you could make sure they aren’t whooped as badly?”

 

“Honestly? Yes.”

 

She shakes her head and laughs softly. “You have a lot of calluses,” she murmurs, tracing her fingers over the rough spots on his hands. “Especially on your index finger.”

 

He shrugs with one shoulder. “It’s probably my trigger finger. And what’s so bad with calluses?”

 

She bites her bottom lip and shakes her head again. “Nothing. I’m not one of those people that believes that your hands reflect who you are, but…”

 

“Are you about to tell me that I’m calloused and I need to open up to people and let myself be vulnerable?”

 

She huffs out a laugh. “No. You’re not as bad as some people might think. It’s just that your display of affection, your way of making yourself vulnerable, is a lot different than what most people imagine. It’s just that your hands are so rough, like no one really touches them.”

 

He licks his lips and stares straight ahead. The ballpark is to his right, but Maddy has something important to say. “I mean…people don’t. Not really. Only you. I don’t have a girlfriend, Brett is not a fan of holding hands with anyone but his wife, and aside from you two, I have no other close friends.”

 

Maddy glances up and smiles sadly. “That’s not what I’m talking about. What about your mom?”

 

Henry clenches his jaw. “You mean the mom who always turned everything into my fault and insisted that I was the problem when it was always her. There’s a lot to do with my mother, but we don’t have time to unpack all of that.”

 

Maddy pulls his hand up to her lips and presses gentle kisses to the back of his hand. “I’m sorry, Henry.”

 

“It’s not your fault. It’s only hers.”

 

*

 

Maddy bites angrily into her soft pretzel. “You told me that the Seabirds had a sure way of winning.” She takes one last angry bite out of it and passes the pretzel wrapper to Henry to throw away.

 

Henry rolls his eyes and snatches his baseball cap from her head. She’s been wearing it long enough, and in this wind, he’s a bit concerned that it will fly off her head. It’s a nice cap. He paid a lot of money for it. It’s also usually his lucky cap, but with Maddy wearing it, that may have broken his streak. “I said the other team was not very good, I didn’t say a damn thing about the Seabirds.”

 

Maddy pivots and jabs her index finger into his chest. It’s made up of hard muscle. She’s impressed. That is not the point at all. “Are you actually telling me, a woman with an eidetic tonal memory, that you did not say that the Seabirds would win or the Rockhounds would lose?”

 

Henry winces. “Okay, I suppose that’s fair, but still: this is literally their only win all season. And at least we still got out of the baseball game early.” They reach his truck, but instead of pulling open his door, Maddy just crosses her arms and rests her back against the side of the truck.

 

He takes his baseball cap off and runs a hand through his hair. “It’s only nine o’clock. I can take you back to your dorm, and you can study, or we can go exploring Santa Barbara.”

 

She purses her lips and looks up at the night sky. The stars are bright tonight, something that is not all too frequent in the city. “How about we find a good parking garage and stargaze?” She pushes off the truck and turns to look at him, her arms still crossed. Flits of blonde hair have escaped her braid, and she pushes the flyaways away from her face.

 

He smiles at her. “I think that’s a fantastic idea.”

 

Maddy climbs into the cab. “But I also need to discuss topics for my poli sci course so I can have some experience for whatever hell my professor decides to unleash tomorrow.”

 

Henry backs out of his space and starts the drive to the outskirts of the city. The city lights are dimmer there, and they will be far more likely to see the stars on the edge of Santa Barbara. “Well, what topics do you want me to play devil’s avocado for?”

 

She rolls her eyes. “Well, our main topic is Roe vs. Wade. You know, the abortion decision from two years ago.”

 

It is not often when she sees a political decision anger Henry, but at the very mention of Roe vs. Wade, he grips the steering wheel tighter. His shoulders are tense, similar to how he looks whenever Jerry passes him by.

 

She furrows her brow and sits up straighter. “Henry, what’s wrong?”

 

He licks his lips and shakes his head once. “What? Something wrong? Nothing’s wrong, Mad. I’ll gladly help you with your poli sci prep.”

 

She gently places one hand on his arm. His skin is warm, radiating heat even before her fingers touch him. She thinks it might be the late spring heat, but part of it could be whatever angered him in the first place. “You can always be honest with me. I won’t be offended.”

 

Henry sighs heavily. “I hate that goddamn court decision.” He takes his left hand off the wheel, and when his right hand moves to compensate, it grips the steering wheel so tightly that Maddy can make out his white-knuckled grip, even in the dark.

 

Maddy almost wants to be angry. Really, who is Henry to say that women can’t have the choice and access to have an abortion? Abortions are going to happen either way, might as well be done more safely and legally than illegally in some back alley. That’s dangerous. It could kill the mother.

 

Instead, she takes a deep breath and gently squeezes his arm. “Why do you say that?”

 

Henry shakes his head slightly. “I don’t think it’s a good solution to any problem that could lead to a woman wanting an abortion. I get that rape is scary, and I don’t blame them for wanting to get rid of that reminder, but it’s not going to change anything. It might add even more trauma. It might not. There’s no way of telling.” He sighs and scratches his head. “Look, what I’m trying to say is, in those situations, I can understand where they’re coming from, but I still don’t agree. And if you got pregnant when you just didn’t want to, and you had consensual sex? I feel no sympathy.”

 

Maddy grits her teeth. “You also have no uterus.”

 

He glances at her and barks out a laugh. “I may not, but at least when a woman aborts after having consensual sex, the father has a right to say if he wants the baby. Sure, he doesn’t have as much to do, and he doesn’t have to give birth or grow a human, but that baby is still half him. He has a say in whether or not he wants to keep it.”

 

She glares at him. “So she should go through the entire pregnancy and birthing process on the off chance her baby daddy wants the kid?”

 

Henry shakes his head. “No. Look, I’m saying she talks to her baby daddy. I know that if I got a girl pregnant, I’d want that baby. If she didn’t, I think I still have a fair say in keeping it. I’d still be willing to raise that kid, even if I was a single dad. There are alternatives to motherhood is what I’m saying. Not alternatives to pregnancy.”

 

She sighs. “Are you against abortion just because of how you would feel or –”

 

He shakes his head again. “No. There’s a host of reasons. Namely the fact that I had a friend who works in Planned Parenthood who witnessed an abortion. The baby comes out in pieces, and he said the baby tries to get away. It can easily traumatize mothers. People regret abortions with some relative frequency, but there are very few women who regret becoming a mother. I get that our foster system in the US is already overrun, but there are plenty of couples who want to adopt – whether it’s because they want kids and can’t conceive or just because they want to adopt – and they can’t afford it. If adoption was more affordable, more people would adopt.”

 

Maddy purses her lips. “Anything else?”

 

He shrugs. “Two more: the first is that you don’t stop being a parent just because you got an abortion. By definition, you still grew a human life for a few weeks. You were still pregnant long enough for it to have any sort of bearing. The second is that that little baby can’t speak for itself. It has a heartbeat and brain waves, so I think it’s living. I mean, if you’re considered dead when your heart stops, why wouldn’t you be considered alive when your heart starts?”

 

“Okay,” she says slowly. “I suppose that’s a fair argument. And you make good points. In the case of consensual sex, I suppose it’s fair to ask if the father wants to raise the kid.” She huffs, one stray strand of hair fluttering away from her face. “I agree with the Roe vs. Wade decision, mostly because people are going to have abortions either way. Might as well make sure they’re safe, or as safe as can be. And, yes, some women do regret abortions, but there are a lot of women who are not fit to be mothers. It would hurt their child if they did have it.” She tucks the stray strand of hair behind her ear. “And just because someone  _ can _ physically have a baby does not mean they  _ should _ have a baby. Teenagers can’t take care of a kid. Neither can some college students, and their parents may not help with it.”

 

Henry nods. “And I understand all of that. I still say there are alternatives to motherhood.” He lifts his left hand and points ahead. “The parking garage is just ahead. There are some blankets on the floor at your feet. We can take them out and look at the stars.”

 

Maddy smiles softly. “So we’re still friends?”

 

He glances at her. “Of course. Why wouldn’t we be? Because we disagree on a political issue? It happens. People disagree. You weren’t rude about it, so I’m fine.”

 

She shakes her head. “Such a gentleman.”

 

He drives up to the top of the parking garage, stops his truck in the middle, and shuts it off. Maddy hops out of the cab, blankets gathered in her arms, and Henry pops down the bed of the truck.

 

A chill runs down her neck, and she shivers. “I’ve never been out this late at night before,” she whispers. Henry takes the blankets from her arms and tosses them into the bed.

 

He furrows his brow. “Really?” He stops and looks around, craning his neck to look at the stars. “I mean, I suppose it’s cool right now. Brett and I have had stakeouts in freezing weather before.”

 

Maddy quirks an eyebrow. “It gets to be freezing down here?”

 

He shrugs. “Sometimes. Usually during winter nights. It’s not particularly common, but it happens.” He presses his hands against the truck and vaults into the bed. “Here, you want some help?”

 

She takes his hand, and he carefully helps her climb into the bed. Her first order of business is to grab a blanket and wrap it around her shoulders.

 

Henry’s still standing on the bed, looking at the stars, when his eyes find her. She looks small, but in a good way. Her eyes sparkle with the wonder that comes only with stargazing, and the New Mexico blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders is Madeleine Baker. He knows she hails from Cincinnati, Ohio, but at heart, Maddy is from Santa Fe. There’s a spiritual wisdom about her, the way she knows to sit and listen instead of talk, the way she can tilt her head and know a person without really knowing them. There are some people, like him, that she finds to be more interesting, nothing like the shallow people she can read in a manner of seconds. The red, yellow, and orange that is reminiscent of New Mexico and the New Mexico flag is more Maddy than anything else he knows.

 

He grabs a second blanket and drapes it over her legs. She smiles gratefully at him and leans into his side. They sit in a comfortable silence, broken only by the way he points out some of the constellations to her, until he clears his throat.

 

“You said you needed to talk about poli sci material?” Henry scratches his jaw. He should shave. He shaved yesterday, yes, but the stubble makes his face itch. “I can’t imagine Roe vs. Wade is the only political discussion.”

 

Maddy purses her lips and pats around the bed for Henry’s hand. He offers it to her. “You’re right,” she says, squeezing his hand once. “But it will take at least one class to get through Roe vs. Wade. You and I have two differing viewpoints, and we’re just two people. Throw in sixty students, thirty of whom have wild viewpoints that don’t coincide with anyone else’s, and it’s going to be a long debate.”

 

“Ah.” It is cold outside tonight, but he doesn’t particularly mind. Cold weather means Maddy cuddles. Anything means Maddy cuddles, but cold weather especially causes her to press herself up against him and rest her head on his shoulder.

 

She lifts her head and scoots around to face him. “Though we have been talking about AIDS research. Like, whether or not we should keep continuing it, whether the government is spending too much money on it, etc.” She glares angrily at the window past his shoulder. “Some fuckasses are debating whether or not we should just quarantine all gays. It’s stupid.”

 

Henry raises his eyebrows. “That’s– in the first place, quarantining an entire group of people just because of who they’re attracted to is not going to solve anything. Secondly, straight people have been diagnosed with AIDS because it can be transmitted through blood, so that’s still not going to solve the problem. Third, literally no one is going to admit to being homosexual if they’re taken away from their families and quarantined for just being homosexual. Fourth, people are still going to die, and it’s going to be a lot of people. The least that we could do, if we can’t offer a cure, is let them be with their loved ones when they pass.”

 

Maddy gestures wildly at him.  _ “Thank _ you! It’s the stupidest thing that has been said in that class, and there are people who think taxes should be eradicated entirely, and people who think vaccines are going to kill us all!” She rolls her eyes. “Idiots. All of them.”

 

Henry leans back against his truck and squints at her. She pulls the blanket more tightly around her shoulders and continues to glare, despite his agreeing with her. He’s a cop, and he’s a damn good one. There’s more to this than just the stupidity of a few classmates. This is personal.

 

He licks his lips and tilts his head. “Maddy,” he says slowly, “why does that upset you so much?”

 

Maddy’s face loses color. “What?”

 

He clears his throat. “I– I mean– that is to say– it’s just that you seem to be taking the whole ‘quarantining homosexuals’ deal a bit personally, but it’ll never hap–”

 

“I’m bisexual,” she blurts.

 

Henry blinks. Out of everything he thought it could possibly be, he was not expecting that. It makes sense, though. Or at least as much sense as he would imagine. “Oh.”

 

Her face falls, and he can tell that she’s fidgeting under that blanket. “Is that it? ‘Oh?’” She sighs, and her breath catches. “Look, I get it if you totally don’t want to talk to me anymore –”

 

He furrows his brow. “Why the hell would I not want to talk to you anymore? You’re my best friend. Talking to you is always the best part of my day.” He tilts his head to catch her eye. Without the strength of street lights or the sun, her blue eyes look nearly black, like sapphires. “Do you honestly think I care so little for you that you being bisexual would change that?”

 

Her mouth falls open. “So you don’t care that I am?” She blinks once. “Bi, that is. You don’t care that I’m bi?”

 

“Insofar as whether I’ll still talk to you, of course I don’t care. But in the sense of if I’d still ask you out, it depends on whether you prefer men or wom–”

 

Maddy crawls forward, cups Henry’s cheek with one hand, and gently presses her lips to his. It shocks him for a second, but he immediately falls into the kiss. His hand comes up to the middle of her back and gently pulls her closer. Her lips are soft and taste like green apple Jolly Rancher. Their mouths move slowly against each other, her fingers lightly scratching at the base of his hairline.

 

Kissing her feels right. He’s kissed his fair share of women (most of whom he has regretted), but none of them felt like this, like the wait was ever worth it. Maddy does. They know, already, without ever having done this with each other before, exactly what to do and how fast to move.

 

She pulls away and rocks back onto her heels, her hand still cupping Henry’s cheek. “It’s you, Henry,” she whispers, “it’s always going to be you.” She licks her lips and smiles softly at him. “I stopped looking at other people – girl or boy – when I met you. You made my life richer just by existing, but even more, you care. Not just about me, but about everyone in the city of Santa Barbara. You’re –” her voice breaks, and she clears her throat. “You’re warm and gentle and soft, but you’re also protective and strong. You’re the smartest person I know, and the best.”

 

He searches her eyes and pulls her in for another kiss.  _ I love you, _ he wants to say, but it’s too soon. That’s not something to be said after a first kiss, no matter how long they’ve been friends, no matter how many times he agonized to Brett whether he should propose or ask her out.  _ I love you, _ he wants to say, but the air between them says it already.

 

She rests her forehead against his and grabs his hands. “No one else knows,” she whispers, and though her voice is barely audible, it sounds like she’s shouting. “Not my parents, not my siblings. I never had a girlfriend or anything like that.” She pulls his fingers to her lips and kisses each one. “You’re the only one I trusted enough to tell.”

 

Trust is a big deal to Henry. He’s a police officer. It is part of his job description to trust the man on his six to have his back, to make sure he is not in any imminent danger. It is part of his job description to make sure that little kids know that they are safe with him in case some bad person is trying to hurt them, and Henry is the only one who can protect them.

 

Trust is even bigger to him when he never trusted his mother and could barely trust his father. It’s the center of his person, the one virtue that made him into who he is today. Jack always trusted him, always trusted his big brother to make sure that Mother wouldn’t hurt either of them and that Dad would make time for them. He was the trusted one.

 

When Maddy came along, Henry learned to trust in a different manner. He learned how to tell someone else the deep, dark parts of himself that he would never dare to say to himself, let alone another person. But he could always tell Maddy, and she never made him feel lesser because of it. She gave him courage and confidence. He never thought he returned the same favor she gave to him, but he has.

 

It feels like a rock has lodged itself in his throat. “You trust me that much?”

 

Maddy nods and kisses his bruised knuckles. He keeps forgetting to wrap his hands before he starts training with the punching bag. “I trust you with my entire being, Henry. There is not a single person on this planet that I trust more than you.”

 

Maybe neither of them say “I love you” that night in the conventional sense. Neither of them say those exact three words, but maybe “I love you” can be said differently than that. Maybe the three little words can be as simple as a whispered, “I trust you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am aware that not all coming out stories end so happily, but maybe a happy ending here and there isn't a bad thing?
> 
> Like it, love it, hate it? Leave a comment below or go to my tumblr, @ my-glasses-are-dirty, and tell me what you think!


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